I’ve been very good this week.
I’ve helped my mom set the table.
I’ve shared with my sister.
I’ve let my dad win at Go-Fish.
So it’s just not fair that I’m sitting here in time-out!
My mom says I can’t play until I find all my dirty socks. It’s not fair, I tell ya! I’ve kept my room extra-super clean for a whole week. The only thing I leave on the floor is my socks, so you’d think I could find them extra-super easy! It’s not my fault that the dog hair monster comes out at night and takes them.
Yeah, that’s right. A dog hair monster.
I saw it last night under my bed. I couldn’t fall asleep at bedtime, no matter how hard I tried. (Maybe it was the hot chocolate and swamp creature movie.) But I was staring at my clean floor, wondering what happened to my red socks yesterday, when I thought I saw something yellow blow across the floor and under my bed.
My eyes couldn’t help but take a peek under there. Nothing but black spookiness, which made me quick-hide under my covers.
Well, after I couldn’t breathe anymore, I poked my head out and looked around my room. I started to think that maybe I wouldn’t watch anymore scary movies before bed, when there it was again! A yellow puff of something made its way toward me. As it darted under my bed, another glob of fuzzy gold swept around the door from the hallway. Then more and more blew into my room and disappeared beneath me. A few of them jumped up and tickled my nose before falling back down to the floor. It was then that I noticed these little tufts were made of many yellow hairs- hair from my dog Sunny!
I was sure that Sunny had to be under my bed. Or was he? Sunny is a gigantic yellow dog. (That’s why he’s so “sunny”) There’s no way he could fit down there. But then I imagined him getting stuck and all of his loose hair coming together to help pull him out. It could happen!
No such luck, though. I saw Sunny sleepily wandering down the hall toward my parents’ bedroom.
Then, can you believe it? I felt a thump-thump-thump and a bump-bump-bump through my mattress. I was too scared to jump up and run. But I knew just the thing to protect myself from the dog-hair lurking under my bed. I quick-grabbed all my pillows (I collect them), and I built a fortress all around me.
Then I yelled, “Go ahead, Dog Hair! I dare ya to come get me!” (That’s what the guy in the swamp creature movie did.)
As soon as I said that, I remembered that the guy from the swamp creature movie also had a whole army of soldiers behind him. So I reached up to my shelf and pulled down my bucket of lego men. I picked out all the men that had guns in their hands and helmets on their heads and placed them on the back of my bed, pointing their guns down to the floor. It took me a little while to do this because I was shaking so bad, I knocked over a few.
Then I waited.
Then I waited some more.
Then I waited even more. I think.
When my eyes opened up, I realized I had fallen asleep. But something had tickled my nose and woken me up. As I reached up to scratch the tickle, I knew something was not right. I glanced behind me and found twelve empty spaces on the headboard, where there should have been twelve tough lego men, ready to fight the dog hair monster.
When I turned around to look for them, I couldn’t believe my eyes! There before me was a giant blob of golden, wiry hair with my missing Mr. Potatohead eyes glaring out at me! He was as tall as the ceiling, and he seemed to have two hulky arms with my snow mittens on his hands. (I’ve been looking for those mittens since last year!)
As he moved with a wooshy sound I looked down at his feet (I think), and guess what I saw! My red socks! They moved in circles like the janitor’s floor polisher at school. I was so shocked at this sight that I didn’t notice the little lego men being sucked up under my red socks until the last one scratched the floor as it vanished. I could hear those poor guys rattling against each other from inside the beast.
Next thing I know, the monster made of dog-hair began to squeeze through the air vent on the ceiling. One by one, Sunny’s hair seeped through the tiny slats like spaghetti noodles being sucked through my sister’s gapped teeth. One by one, my lego men slipped through into the ceiling. One by one, my mittens and red socks somehow managed to escape into the vent.
And, I’m not kidding you, just before they followed the socks, the Mr. Potatohead eyes looked right at me and winked!
I listened as the legos traveled through the vent along the ceiling, tap-tap-tapping on the metal. I followed the sound through my door, down the hall, around the corner into the kitchen and through the dining room. Then, before I could reach the family room, I heard a rustling around the corner, by the door. Quietly, I peaked from behind the TV cabinet, and there it was.
Under the air vent was my dog Sunny’s toy chest; and draped over the side was one of my red socks. As I tiptoed over to the toy chest, I tried to grab the sock. But, too late, it jumped down into the chest! I quick-looked down into the bottom and saw a bottomless pit of stuff- missing stuff!
Not only did I find the lego men, but there was my favorite toothbrush with my name on it. There was the long-lost remote control. There was Sunny’s missing collar. There were nine pens and pencils. There was one of Mom’s earrings and two of Dad’s hats. And guess what? Under all that stuff, was a pile of all my dirty socks!
At last! I could show my mom that it wasn’t my fault that my socks got lost! I could show her that there was a reason things disappeared in the house. And I didn’t do it!
After I dragged my mom and dad out of bed and through the house, I ran over to Sunny’s toy chest and stood there proudly, pointing down into the pit of stuff. As they yawned and stretched, they looked inside the chest. Then they looked at me. With angry eyes!
I quick-looked down- down into an empty box with a blue bottom. Empty, except for one lonely bone.
So here I sit in time-out. Thinking of how I’m going to wrestle the dog hair monster down and get my dirty socks back.
